Dear Captain Buttons:
Thanks for your offer of advice.
I'm having the following problem: My entire torso is covered with a strange rash. The rash is not painful, but what it is is scary. I'm very afraid about what might be going on to cause such a rash.
So I'm writhing in fear. Rashy fear.
Can you help me put a positive spin on this?
-Really Anxious, Send Help
Well hola RASH
Someone is a very lucky...and it's YOU! strange rashes are nothing but evidence of adventures had, whether traversing the tropics or exploring closer to home. Sure, the choices you have made may have become a bumpy path...but seriously - why do you think a rash is called a rash? Flaunt the testimony that you took a walk on the wild side. Wear your rash with pride and before you know it your friends and neighbours will be flogging themselves with nettles just to look a tenth as exciting as you!
Ahoy!
Captain Buttons
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