Ahoy friends!
I've had the wind up me mainsail for quite a while now, so good news! i'll be portside once again very soon. In the meantime, one more problem shredded (err, i mean gently tended to dear, honestly), by the old ball and rigging.
love you all
give me C, give me an A give me a P...............
(ps, i've got to disagree with the Mrs on the below advice - Alfred, you seem as fruity a sailor as they come - my advice is hop on a package and make for somewhere carnival! - sorry dear, yes i know i said i wouldn't interfere...sorry sorry)
Dear Captnbuttons,
I've never written for advice before, but I'm excited to give it a go! My name is Albert James McFee. I consider myself a rather social creature, but I seem to be facing a social wall at the moment. (Not a real wall, an imaginary, metaphorical wall). Anyway, I spend much of my time at numerous social events, such as concerts, sports games, and karaoke bars. Every Saturday, I check the "Missed Connections" section of my local publication and notice that there are ladies looking FOR ME! Well, I write or Facebook them with a picture to let them know that I'm found, but they rarely respond. I would call, but they often don't post their phone numbers publicly. I'm wondering if you have any advice for finding these ladies and informing them that the man of their dreams is waiting for them. Also, do you think that the fact that I only have 61 Facebook friends reflects poorly on my social decorum?
I will certainly appreciate any advice that you can offer me.
Sincerely,
Albert McFee
Albert, Albert, Albert, where to start.
While reviewing your question numerous thoughts came to mind.
1. Maybe the ladies and gentlemen you go out with to all these social events are playing a giant hoax on you, posting fake I Saw You ads and there’s no way for them to reply without revealing the sham (mean just mean). Who knows you could be such a huge dick and your friends are really that mean spirited and motivated to pull off such shenanigans, what comes around often times goes around, is your conscience clean?
2. Coincidently you go to the same social events, concerts, sporting games and karaoke bars as your doppelganger, at the same time. (however odd, slightly intriguing) Is your other you getting all the dates?
Chances are Albert that you just like these phantom posters on “Missed Connections” are humanly shy, vulnerable individuals. Why would “Missed Connections” even exist if people really expressed how they felt when they felt it? Whether you’re too involved belting out Bohemian Rhapsody on the karaoke stage or slaying some killer air drums at the Rush concert, take a moment to look around, you may be getting missed and it appears getting missed for good. Why wait to be missed when you could be introducing the woman of your dreams to the “man of their dreams”. Online flirting is fun but spending EVERY Saturday checking the “Missed Connections” is depressing and boring. Hey, you’re sexy I’m sexy lets do something sexy together, get it. No need to wait till Saturday.
Finally Albert I’m not sure how having ONLY 61 friends on Facebook is going to affect YOUR social decorum. I’m sure there are plenty of people with tons more friends than you and plenty of people that have just as many or less friends on Facebook than you. What the hell does that really mean, how’s it gonna affect my social decorum? Its how you treat and respect these people that really matters. I would think a good rule of thumb would be something like, can you fit all your Facebook friends into your house or apartment or car or parents basement or wherever the hell it is you live? If not maybe you have too many friends, or maybe as long as you know all their birthdays and phone numbers by heart you can have as many friends as you want, as long as you don’t forget to phone them on their birthday.
Mrs Buttons
